The End Of A Sweet Dream
by Upon a Shooting Star
Summary: It was too soon. She hadn't had enough time, not nearly enough time spent with her beloved Zero. Kuran Yuuki wasn't ready to die yet…but reality waited for no one. The ice has cracked and Kaname's life was truly in danger now, leaving her with an impossible choice and an equally broken heart. To die for Kaname…or live for Zero?


**AN:** Hi! I don't usually write here, but a major warning that this one-shot contains spoilers for the last manga chapter of Vampire Knight…so read at your own risk! Just kidding, but seriously, there are major spoilers.

To be honest, I was quite shocked at how VK ended (me and all fellow VK readers, I suspect) and I guess this oneshot is my rebellion against the ending. In part, I also wanted to delve into Zero's reasons for doing and saying something during a particular scene, because I wasn't too happy with how Hino portrayed Zero.

Scratch that. I wasn't happy with Chapter 93 at all. I can't believe it…Zero…poor, _poor_ Zero!...what did he ever do to deserve this… *goes and sits in a corner, muttering and banging her head against the wall* (I'm pretty sure you all know what I'm referring to. And if not, consider yourself saved from the agony of knowing.)

So…all that angst had to go somewhere, which resulted in this short piece, so hope you enjoy this and leave me a review to let me know how I went! Thanks!

* * *

**The End Of A Sweet Dream**

Summary: It was too soon. She hadn't had enough time, not nearly enough time spent with her beloved Zero. Kuran Yuuki wasn't ready to die yet…but reality waited for no one.

The ice has cracked and Kaname's life was truly in danger now, leaving her with an impossible choice and an equally broken heart. To die for Kaname…or live for Zero?

* * *

_Who is it that you dream of? _

_Him or me?_

"It's always him, isn't it."

She paused, a slender hand poised on the doorknob at his quiet voice, the defeat and infinite sadness of each word almost tangible in the suddenly tense atmosphere. It had been a statement, not a question and there was just something horribly wrong about that, how he had immediately arrived at that conclusion. But then, Yuuki couldn't really blame him, not when they both knew what she was planning to do.

Yuuki knew that he was probably looking at her with his deep, soulful amethyst eyes, strands of his silver hair falling into those pair of eyes that had captivated her so—and still did, despite what he might think. She had grown up a lot since that day, and while no outward emotion was displayed upon her pale, delicate features, inside her heart twisted painfully, viciously, as another piece broke and shattered. Zero, her precious, beloved Zero sounded so resigned, so bleak and it was all her fault. All her fault.

She had made a lot of mistakes in her life, but this…this probably topped the lot, and hurt him in a way that nothing else, no one else would have been able to. It was her actions, and her actions alone which had caused the most important person in her life such abject misery and despair.

"What do you mean?" The words sounded hollow, almost as hollow as the great bottomless pit inside the Pureblood, as she once again drove a knife into his ever unhealing wound, tearing through the tender flesh, digging deeper into the jagged injury. _He _would always be between them, a topic that neither of them would agree on—the root of all their serious quarrels—a lingering reminder of the past that was always festering beneath the surface of their relationship, always able to draw blood and bring devastation so easily.

Yuuki didn't want to fight with Zero today, not now of all times, not when she had finally decided what to do. But the conversation, if you could call it that, was heading exactly down that path—that well-travelled, cursed path that they always found themselves taking where _he_ was concerned.

She dropped her façade, suddenly tired and world-weary of their cycle, the pattern that they seemed to fall into each and every time, despite how much they tried to avoid it. It was vicious in its continuity, never fully ending and always resurfacing again but oh-so very devastating with its impact, leaving both sides hurt beyond repair.

"I owe it to Kaname—" She never got to finish her sentence, not that she expected to. Sometimes Zero was really too predictable, and in those times, Yuuki could pretend that he was still the same Zero who would sigh in exasperation whenever she had a klutz attack, roll his eyes and readily snap at her, grudgingly indulge her when she turned puppy-dog eyes on him or who would silently stare at her with tenderness in his eyes when he thought she wasn't looking. But times had changed. _They _had changed.

And she hated herself all the more for unconsciously baiting him, for saying the words that would spark his anger, even if she hadn't meant to do so.

"You don't owe anything to him!" Zero broke in harshly, his usual stoic expression twisted with emotion, so painfully raw and desperate that it had her crimson eyes widening in shock. Almost instantly, his feature smoothed out, his usual indifferent look replacing his anguished expression but that fleeting glimpse was firmly imprinted on her mind.

He…hadn't been like this for a long time. Zero's fiery temper and easily irritable personality had tempered down with time, but his dark, powerful aura had only grown, making him one very formidable enemy on and off the battlefield. He had also withdrawn further into himself, becoming more silent and apathetic than before and it only seemed that being around Yuuki, being in her presence would the old Zero resurface, as if he was only alive in her presence.

Now, as he crossed the length of the room to stand before her, she could fully appreciate just how graceful and intimidating he was, especially when he was towering over her like that, with that mix of blazing anger, sad resignation and unconcealed frustration across his beautifully sculptured features.

"Why did you think I said those words?" His amethyst eyes were staring stonily into her bewildered eyes, flashes of ire visible in his pale orbs, his lips pressed into a thin line. And for the life of her—for the very, _very _long life of her, Kuran Yuuki had no idea what he meant. That might have been very common when she was younger, being the ever clueless, ditz of a prefect, but she had matured into herself, grown to accept both her strengths and weaknesses and emerged as a beautiful, composed woman, befitting of her Pureblood status, and as the last remaining _alive _Kuran Pureblood.

"Why did you think I asked you to make the choice?" He ran a hand roughly through his hair, messing his orderly strands into something wild and ragged, untameable but still so beautiful in its utter disarray. Almost like himself. "…to stay by my side?" The last words came out in a soft sigh, and Yuuki finally realised what he was talking about.

She clearly remembered the words he had spoken then, asking—no, almost begging, her to acquiesce to his one moment of weakness, where he had his happiness within grasp and was desperate to hold onto it, lest it slipped from his fingers like so many times before. Where there seemed to be no more barriers, no more obstacles and challenges between their love for each other, no more reasons why they shouldn't be together, be happy together.

Or at least, that was what she had thought.

"_Tch." She watched as he clenched his jaw, his features all sharp angles and agitation, as he tried and failed to find the right words._

"_All these…let it go." With a start, Yuuki realised that he was referring to the recent events, of Kaname sacrificing his heart to the furnace, of her Onii-sama's acceptance of their relationship…of everything Pureblood, Parent and Furnace related. To let it all go? Was it that simple? _Could _she let it go?_

"_Say that you'll go with me." And suddenly, he was embracing her tightly, his warmth seeping into her cold body, encompassing her with his own unique scent and overwhelming strength. A strength that was gentle, protective, unwavering, but more importantly, a strength that she desperately craved, if only for her own selfish needs. _

"…_It's fine. Even if it takes you years to say it." His words were a soft whisper beside her ear, and she could feel his silky strands of hair tickling her neck. His face was buried in her neck, and with each inhale and exhale of breathe, Yuuki felt as if her whole world was tearing and fracturing away, crumbling dangerously beneath her feet. The only real thing amidst all the confusion was his hold on her, his firm grip anchoring her to his warm, broad chest—and to him. Zero was always good at that. Completely skilled at turning her world upside down, shaking her foundations before calmly stepping in to save her, as if he did this every day. As if he _hadn't _been saving her and rescuing her from herself all these long years. _

"…_even if a few decades have passed." For some reason, those words brought tears to her eyes; the utter devotion and compassion in his tone was her complete undoing. He had sacrificed so much, had been hurt so, _so_ many times…yet his love for her remained as strong as ever, and the fire within him burned just as brightly, regardless of how many times she had unconsciously and carelessly rejected him. _

"_Please say it," A shaky exhale against her slender neck, and the ever slight tightening of his arms around her waist, as if he was afraid she would disappear, callously leave before giving him her answer. "Before I turn into dust from starvation."_

_Their hearts were now beating as one, synchronised together in perfect rhythm the longer his protective arms remained around her, and Yuuki slowly relaxed against his hold, his steady heartbeat and soft breaths soothing her, washing away her weariness, despair, regret and everything else that she had felt. _

_Zero was with her, in mind, body and soul—and he truly loved her, completely and unconditionally with all his heart. And that was enough for Kuran Yuuki, that was all she had ever wanted from her silver-haired companion. _

_I'm sorry, Onii-sama._

_Yuuki squeezed her eyes shut, as the first drops of tears slowly tracked their way down her pale cheeks. In her mind, she could still see the image of her brother's tall, lean form encased in Aidou's ice, great blocks of the jagged and sharp icicles rising up to meet the underground cellar's ceiling, deep beneath the Kuran mansion. His eyes had been closed, a not-quite peaceful look gracing his striking features, dark brown hair dishevelled but still looking every inch the proud and aristocratic Pureblood that he was. And that he would remain, trapped underneath the block of ice for his own protection. _

_Zero was always my one and only weakness. I…can't say no._

_Large crimson eyes opened, a new resolve shining in the burgundy depths as Yuuki brushed away the last, lingering tears on her face. She turned to cradle Zero's face in her hands, studying ever inch of his coldly handsome face, drinking in his delicate beauty and sombre yet alluring eyes. _

_She leaned up and pressed a gentle kiss on his lips as answer, watching as his amethyst orbs widened before drifting shut, a rare look of content crossing his features. _

_Because I have always loved him…more. _

Shaken from her reverie at the sound of clothe rustling, Yuuki blinked slowly before noticing that Zero had moved away, choosing to lean against the doorway, head tilted down with eyes partially hidden by his silver hair in his usual brooding manner. It brought a nostalgic smile to her face, her whole face softening and replacing the cool, pale expression she had taken to hiding behind.

The silence stretched on, but it seemed like Zero wasn't willing to continue, as if he had already said too much, let too many words slip out and was now keeping his mouth firmly shut. When the quiet had become almost unbearable—too suffocating because he had touched upon the one thing they never spoke of during their time together, of the memories it evoked—his lithe form shifted and Yuuki stilled, waiting for him to speak.

"It was to stop you from going on a suicide mission, to stop you from dying before you even _lived_," Zero finally ground out, lifting his head to meet her startled gaze, and the amount of sorrow and endless love—such a pure, deep, _devastating_ love—emitting from his orbs nearly took her breath away.

Her mouth opened and closed dumbly, all composure and ability to speak leaving her suddenly slack form. Yuuki tried to form words, but her mind came up blank as she digested what he had said—and left unsaid. He had wanted her to see the world, to experience all the things that she should have but hadn't, in her short life as a human and reawakened life as the Kuran princess. He was only looking out for her, truly caring about her and yet she…

Once again, Zero had been his true selfless self, putting her needs before his own, even at the cost of his own happiness and wellbeing. And it must have hurt, a truly raw, absolutely shattering anguish to see her so willing to sacrifice herself to turn Kaname into a human, without a care to how the people around her, how _Zero_, would be affected by her death.

…and here she was, ready to do it all over again.

Granted, he wasn't supposed to remember her, which in her then idealistic and naïve mindset would mean he would be in less pain when she would inevitably forsake her life for Kaname's. But the fact that he did, had laid all her plans to ruins. Looking back at the mess she had made then, Yuuki sometimes wondered if she had truly wanted Zero to forget her, to look at her and only see a stranger…no, less than a stranger. Just a spoiled, pampered Pureblood princess who was his enemy by definition. Had she been ready to look into his beautiful amethyst eyes and see no emotion whatsoever, no hint of recognition or the subtle warmth and reassurance that those pale orbs often provided to her?

Had she truly been ready to cut Zero from her life—even for a day, a minute, a _second_—despite what she had been planning to do? …had she really wanted to leave this world forgotten by the one she cared for the most? Yuuki had been such an integral part of his life, and he to her, so did she really think that suppressing his memories of her would fully erase her from his mind, from the very depths of his consciousness?

The deep, never-ending guilt of what she had done and agonizing sorrow that had plagued her after she had taken Zero's memories was still fresh in her mind; the days she had spent in absolute misery feeling as if she was truly alone in the world, the nights when she cried herself to sleep, yearning for a silver-haired man who no longer remembered her…so why was she willing to give it up again, when she finally had what she wanted?

"Live, for yourself. Not for anyone else. Not for Kaname, not for your parents, not for the Headmaster, not for your friends, not for the vampire nobles." His jaw clenched, and that single action alerted Yuuki to his unnatural stiffness, the tense set of his shoulders which hinted at his unease but then he took a step forward and Yuuki was enveloped by his familiar scent, all previous thoughts flying out of her head as she realised just how close they were.

"Your life is your own, live it how you want—not how everyone else expects you to. You have no obligation, no duty to…"

He appeared to be struggling with himself, an internal debate over whether to continue or not before a soft sigh finally left his lips, and Yuuki felt rather than saw the loosening of his tall frame as his mask slipped and she realised how tired he seemed, both physically and mentally drained. It wasn't the sort of weariness that could be fixed with enough rest or that could be recovered in time, but something that went deeper than that, something that went so deep that it touched his soul…and left a lasting impression.

"You always have a choice, so don't think you have to die for him."

She watched as his face closed off, that icy apathetic look creeping back into his amethyst eyes before he continued in a voice so soft and low, that Yuuki almost didn't hear him—but she did, and her heart constricted painfully.

"Or live for _me_." His words struck a chord deep inside her, filling her with inexplicable emotions that were too complicated to untangle and too messy to separate because those four words revealed more about Zero than she had thought possible. It was the way he had emphasised himself in that slightly despairing, self-mocking way which was so distressing, as if he didn't believe she would even consider living for him. Didn't Zero know how important he was to her? How, despite his words, she had chosen to be with him because it was _him_ and nothing else? He wasn't a replacement, he could never _just _be a replacement for anyone…didn't he know how much she loved him?

Too many things had happened, too much time had passed (but not enough, always not enough time for them), for her to simply make things right between them again but she would try. Because it was Zero…and she truly did love him.

His words had shaken her resolve and if she was truly honest with herself, Yuuki knew that her resolve wasn't as strong as it should have been, so his words had simply latched onto the misgivings that she herself had been feeling all this time. She _had _decided what to do—had been prepared to do this years ago—but did it still count as a firm decision when she was doubting herself every step of the way, hesitating at the last, crucial stage?

Was it really her decision now, something she chose to do as Kaname's time was running out, _truly_ running out, or because Yuuki felt she had to follow through with the decision she made before?

She knew answer then, she had always known what the answer was, but couldn't, _wouldn't_ bring herself to admit it. For all her selfless acts and noble, self-sacrificing thoughts, Kuran Yuuki was just as selfish as the next person. She wasn't perfect as everyone thought she was, and despite being a Pureblood—or because of it—she had always regarded the period she spent as a human as the happiest time in her life.

By altering his memories, the treasured, precious moments spent together and planning to do what she had, Yuuki had chosen the easy and very cowardly way out and had nearly taken it, too—if Zero hadn't pulled her back from the edge. He had broken through the lock she had placed on his memories of her, and in the progress, had once again anchored her to this world, given her hope when she had all but given up on living. Zero was the only reason she was still alive today.

He was always saving her, it seemed, whether she was aware of it or not. A silent, steady, reliable presence that was always by her side, unwavering in his fierce desire to protect her from any and all harm but so very obviously suffering because of their closeness, because of his feelings for her.

Because of her.

As he brushed past her, ironically existing through the same door she had planned on shutting behind her forever, Yuuki suddenly realised that while his words rang true, he had completely misjudged her—and that hurt, knowing he had so little trust in her, so little faith in himself…in _them_.

She had been holding onto a promise long gone, altered and frayed by the changing times, the changing circumstances that surrounded them but more importantly, her new purpose in life had changed her priorities and she was no longer the Kuran Yuuki who was willing to sacrifice everything for her Onii-sama.

Yuuki had a taste of happiness now, true happiness that she felt from the very bottom of her heart, and being there next to Zero, watching him gradually open to her, seeing his angry, bitter expression mellowing into a quiet, content look was more than she could have hoped for. Maybe it was time to let go of that promise, the resolve she had before everything had changed—before Zero had _confessed_ to her—and to live how her heart wanted her to. It was childish, it was overrated, it was _cliché_ but she wanted her happy ending…and Zero had always been the perfect knight.

Yuuki would live, not for anyone else but for Zero, Kiryuu Zero who had taken her heart the first moment she saw him—and never quite given it back.

After all, some things were meant to be taken.

Impulsively, and a little bit recklessly, Yuuki flash-stepped through the doorway and planted herself firmly in front of a stoic Zero, who was just about to close the door. Not a hint of emotion passed through his pale features at her sudden appearance, but Yuuki knew that she had his full attention, despite his impassive stare. Never before had she been so glad for her vampire reflexes and speed, because in that single second she knew exactly what she should have said a long, long time ago.

In much like her earlier position, his fingers paused on the doorknob and he stilled. Zero's whole body was tense and alert, as if he was prepared to flee at a moment's notice.

"Zero, you're wrong. I am living…for you."

As he slowly turned to face her, that apathetic look finally breaking to reveal his wonder and tender hope, Yuuki whispered the words that had been in her heart all along. "I will always live for you."

She watched as the light returned to his eyes, chasing away all the dark shadows to reveal the true brilliance of his amethyst eyes, glittering with so many emotions and captivating her with its intensity. His features softened; the minute lines disappearing from his forehead, the downward tilt of his lips smoothing out, the hard edge to his defined jaw line relaxing and dissipating the worry, sadness and pain that was lurking beneath his carefully blank façade.

No words were necessary to convey what was left unspoken, that quiet, perfect understanding between them allowing for silent communication with just a look.

Kuran Yuuki had finally chosen.

And it was Kiryuu Zero. It always had been Zero.

_The end of a sweet dream…_

…_is sometimes the beginning of another. _


End file.
